my experience with the SPN Family

hello hello again! I am back with a new post and today I'm gonna talk about my eperience with the SPN Family and how it changed and definitely saved my life back in 2016.

April 2016 I started watching Supernatural because a lot of people on my twitter timeline were watching it and praising this show to the fucking moon and beyond. I decided to give it a shot and started the first episode on my computer, sitting there in the dark in my basement room. I fell in love with it immediately and I understood why people thought it's an amazing show. It has everything people love: some action, an interesting story, jokes and family; a loooooot of fucking feels.

I felt deeply when watching this show and I felt something in me changing already, I can't describe it but it felt awesome. I binged Supernatural super fast and then started getting into the fandom through Twitter mainly. I changed my handle there to an SPN-related name and let the fun begin.

Very soon I found other people from around the world that loved this show just as much as I did and it made me really happy to see how this show connects people from around the globe and how people make friends through this.

It didn't take me long to find fellow German SPN-Fans and I started talking to a lot of them and we soon all became very good friends. I also got to know a lot of people from the U.S. or the UK and we started talking as well. 

One day I found out that there was a convention going to be held in Germany and of course I wanted to go really bad. Sadly it was too late for me to attend the one in 2016 so I decided I would go to the one next year and I did. I had my rather big group of friends that I met up with at the con and not gonna lie but I literally knew 90% of the people who were there and I wasn't that unknown in the fandom myself back then. I had the best time of my life there meeting all the other fans that love this show for the same reasons as I do and it just felt like I finally found the place where I belong.

I started struggling with depression back in 2012 and it has always been very hard but this show helped me a lot. While I was getting into the fandom I read about the actors a lot and how most of them struggle with mental illnesses and such as well and how open they are about it. I found about about their charity campaigns, their projects to help people suffering from depression and anxiety and how they all talked about it like it was normal and nothing to be ashamed of. They showed me I'm not alone with this and they have my back no matter what. It was a huge change in my life for me and it helped me through my darkest times. This show is my lifesaver and made me see the good things in life again.

At the convention I met some of the most important people from the show for me and it could not have been better. I had so much fun and even though I cried a lot they once again showed me that we're all a big family with issues but together we can heal and fight this. We're never alone and that's something I'll never forget. All of the cast I met was beyond nice and loving, caring, fun. That weekend I also met one of my absolute best friends in the world for the first time; Franzi. 

She is pretty much my better half and without her I'd be fucking lost. I love her to death and we've had so much fun together already and been through enough shit, too.

I soon realized that pretty much 95% of this fandom suffer from mental health issues or other things and that's what makes it so unique. We all struggle but we struggle together. No one is alone and we all take care of each other. I met so many people through this show that I adore deeply and I'm just gonna give the most important ones in my life a quick shoutout (which doesn't mean I don't love the others that might not be mentioned now but dude, if I mentioned everyone this would be like 5+ pages long.)

Thank you Eszter, Franco, Nadine, Jacky, Blume, Franzi, Mara, Hannah, Moana, Lea, Lilith, Julia, Toni, Izzy, Luana, Nessa, Jule, Sabrina, Dean, Alyssa, Beth, Raven, Keely, Raven (2.0, haha) and so many fucking more. I can't thank any of you enough for all you've done for me and keep doing. You guys are my family and deserve the world. I fucking adore you. I always will. 

Through this show I also met my best friend, Eszter, who lives in the U.S. and is my absolute best friend besides Franzi. We've met through Twitter and immediately became inseperable. Last year in summer we managed to meet and I flew over to the U.S. for the first time ever despite being scared of flying just to see her and I can tell you I don't fucking regret one thing. I will talk about this more in another blog post. Besides all the people I've already listed I have to say a special thank you to Rob Benedict who plays Chuck on Supernatural. This man saved me big time and there's no one I love more of this cast than him. I got the heart he had drawn for me tattooed on my wrist in summer of 2017. He will always have a special place in my heart and no matter how many times I've already met him I always get super anxious when I'm in front of him and almost burst into tears. He means the world to me and I'm pretty sure he knows that by now. Another big thank you goes out to Kim Rhodes who plays Jody on Supernatural. She has been my biggest inspiration for years now and my biggest role model. This woman is what I aspire to be in life and no one had such a big impact on me than her or maybe Rob. I don't even have words to describe how important Kim is to me and how she changed my life. Her and Briana Buckmaster who plays Donna. These women taught me so fucking much, it's insane. THANK YOU.

I stopped watching the show a while ago already because I just didn't like the story anymore and where this show is going but that doesn't mean I don't love this show anymore. I will always fucking love the first few seasons, no matter what. This show changed my life and it doesn't matter if I still watch it or not; it's part of my life. The biggest part probably. 

To come to end I can just say again: Thank you for saving my life, thank you for teaching me so much and thank you for bringing all these gorgeous people in my life that I will never let got again.

Thank you Supernatural, from the bottom of my heart.

Vivi - over and out.

(Below I spammed a little with a shit ton of photos from conventions and my friends and me. Basically my Supernatural family. Obviously I can't include all of them but here are some. Enjoy!)